2月 2009
This mourning;
I woke up at 8:00 because my mom peeked her head into the room and was like
“Nick, can you bring the laundry basket downstairs”
and it took me about ten minutes to get up but I finally did.
I came back upstairs and I fell back asleep.
Then at 9:20 she woke me up again and told me to eat breakfast.
And again, it took me ten minutes. But when I got downstairs, I was happy
Because...
Tokidoki
I feel really stupid.
1月 2009
so
i didn’t even want to spend another day not talking to you.
i
miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
i miss you
and i miss you.
Cube abuse
I was feeling all smad and what not
And I tried figuring out my rubix cube, cus Darlene taught me how during fifth period then i just kept getting more mad, and not it’s broken.
go me.
Hahaha
OhNoTacoo (10:55:08 PM): no, do not blame me for this mess that you’re in. i told you over and over not worth it
OhNoTacoo (10:55:14 PM): but sure, i’ll buy you piercings fool
Do you ever
Get the feeling that there’s something on you face,
but it’s actually just your nose?
woo!
i can play like.. a page of Miserable at best xDD
i’m not even reading the music. just playing by what sounds right -.-
jeezzz.
So
let’s turn this room into a pirate ship
and ponder each other.
I think about you everyday
And you never have anything new to say.
2day
was a day full of realizations.
This morning Paco came and he had to fill up gas so he dropped Megan and I off at Starbucks. I bought Royce a Raspberry black tea and I ordered my usual, but the bitch didn’t put the sweetener in it so it tasted like shit. I bought Paco a chocolate doughnut and hot chocolate.
First period was actually fun. I don’t really hate Japanese anymore....
Did you know
I speak of you positively all the time
And your name has a way of coming up in a lot of my conversations.
But when people ask “So what’s the problem?”
Oh the things I want to tell them.
I think it’s ridiculous.
I think I’m just grumpy and tired.
When I wake;
I wish I hadn’t.
Bathroom
Nobody is home so I went to play my guitar in the bathroom and i could actually do everything how i wanted to.
I don’t like the sound of my voice, I want to take vocal lessons or something
But at the same time I don’t because that just seems like a waste of money to me haha.
I’m going to Claudette’s with Jeri tomorrow and we’re taking the bus -.-
I’m...
what the shit.
jacieface:
I’m fucking shaking because I’m so angry right now.
What the fuck.
If you thought, for some reason that this was okay, it’s not.
Holy fucking crap.
If you are back with her and didn’t tell me,
Ohhhhh fuuuuck youuuu.
drop it like it’s hot :O
I
love white tigers and platypus’
I think any other animal is just highly overrated.
I actually spend some of my time just staring at the computer screen
Why? I really don’t know
I haven’t smoked in two weeks and it’s not because I want to quit
It’s just because I don’t have money to buy cigarettes.
I have very low self confidence but I portray myself in a...
2 years?
What the fuck.
OhNoTacoo (12:02:18 AM): oh god nick, if i didn’t know you i’d think you’re full blast gay right now
xNickTheRipper (12:02:24 AM): -.-
xNickTheRipper (12:02:28 AM): they’re fucking dope
OhNoTacoo (12:02:35 AM): No no, you’re serious?
xNickTheRipper (12:02:41 AM): YES -.- FUCKIN NIGGER
I DONT CAREEEE.
THOSE CONTACTS ARE COOL FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAHA.
People like you.
No one really knows about you.
I chose to keep you out of my life.
No one needs to know about you.
People like you.
I thought I loved.
I hate
chamorros like joey!
hahahaha.
nay nay nay big boy.
People like you.
We’ve known each other since seventh grade, and I’ve never liked you much.
You’re loud, obnoxious, irritating, stupid, and you complain way too much.
You burn every day and your parents are strict and tough on you because you fail all your classes.
You call them bad names and act like you’ve done nothing wrong and you complain about everybody hating you for no reason....
Plans a changing.
I think Merrie needs to stop her bitching. She really pisses me off sometimes.
I’m not going to TA for Higa because he hates me and what teacher wants a TA they hate? Duh. haha.
I need to find a class to take or a class to TA for. Geez.
Addictions
made me stronger,
but you can’t be high all the time.
You're
a Stone-Hearted Man.
It's a revelation
A moment of clarity,
And I am trapped inside this moment deadlines are left to die
And I guess I am truly free.
My brain was spent I worried as I fell in knee deep
Where consequences and circumstances suffocated and I could barely breathe.
I don't sleep at night
because I lay there with a thousand different thoughts running through my mind at once.
I think of the past and what it could have been.
What I could have been.
I think of all the mistakes I’ve made and I’m not one for regretting
and I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and it shapes us
Into who we are today, right now, at the very moment.
That’s...
I think
I’m going to stop reading your blog. It always makes me sad.
I can’t bring myself to stop talking to you.
I don’t want to stop talking to you.
But I do, want you.
You
are a good girl.
You don’t use me for drugs.
You don’t use me for sex.
You don’t use me for money, partially because I have none.
You are nice to talk to and you’ve brightened up my life.
But the time I decide to be committing and shit,
It never works out.
Nothing ever.
Fucking works out.
Your writing
Makes me feel more confident in my writing.
You make it sound like people care that you write shit.
Jeeez.
There will be pain
But life goes on
Everyday, a brand new song.
Success!
Mr. Higa signed my paper to put me in Chemistry! But this mourning when Jerica was like “HIGAAA, can Nick be your TA?” he was like “HELL NO! I want smart people, not people with Cs!” and I was all sad face. After sixth period when he signed my registration form, I asked again if I could be his TA, and he just said “I’ll think about it. I’ll see if i can...
You need him, I could be him.
I laid in bed last night, and I fell asleep.
I’m so happy.
But of course there was that period of time in bed, where I was not so happy.
You don’t need to like two people.
What I mean to say is
I’m calling it quits.
There's a bomb in my face
Decorated in white lace.
I’m embarrassed to show my mother my report card because I feel like a failure.
I don’t really care if my report card is better than most of the mokes in my school and neither do my parents. They just want to see As, and frankly, so do I.
But of course, I’m to blame for everything because I’m such a lazy ass bitch and I can only seem to get Cs in everything I do. I have...
I want to see you.
I want to hang out with you.
I want us to have an actual conversation outside of our text messaging world.
I found out “texted” is a word.
Google Chrome lies to me.
Oh and oh
Did i mention when i see you it stings like hell
due to the fact that we could have something
that will never happen.
Always up or down
never down and out
dream of demons while you sleep
they make you stutter when you speak.
“Just promise me that if you do leave, you’ll give me some kind of heads up,”
same for you babe…
same for you.
I felt asleep at 5 in the AM.
My emotions are getting the best of me
and I’m hungry for mcdonalds.
What's up with us.
Not everything has to be so negative.
If I truly believe you cannot fall in love at such a young age, does that make me such a negative person? I find myself just being realistic.
I don’t know sometimes.
I just, don’t.
Set sail
I’m pursuing.
I’m hoping that all goes well.
I’m hoping for the best.
I’ll be here waiting for you,
so take your time.
You’re my creep, my pig, my babe.
I like it that way.
I don’t know whether to pursue you, or waste my time elsewhere.
Regardless, I’ll always be here for you, as your friend.
Pig.
Screw this.
To drink,
To drive,
To get out alive.
&&
You don’t ever say the things you said to me
You don’t ever cross that line you’ve been known to cross
You know that I’m not one for living a life like this
I’ve never been one for 100% dedication
100% relapse with no medication
You know what this takes of me
Yeah you know what this takes of me
You don’t call me when it’s over
You insist to stay...
Naive.
I like you. You love him. You’re heartbroken. I don’t really know what it feels like to use this heart of mine.
I’ll be, I’ll be yours.